Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Forewarned is Foregone

Library Science is fraught with unspeakable danger. There are certain words and phrases that will send chills down every librarian's spine. Whenever these dreadful nouns and verbs are used in a library it can never be a good situation. The human body's natural response to danger is fight or flight. Sadly, by the time these words are uttered your body is already trapped. You are snared. Cornered. Totally and utterly screwed. If only there were some kind warning that would allow you to flee to safety.

Gouger Library Supplies has just the device to enhance your body's natural defenses. Our Logomisia Pocket Alarm will give you plenty of warning and let you Fight with Flight. This high tech instrument has thousands of tiny sensors that will pick up all of Librarianship's Forbidden Words of Doom. There's also plenty of memory, so you can add up to 100 locally perilous words and phrases. Here's just a sampling of the horrific pre-loaded lexicon:

  • Genealogy
  • Local Author
  • Tutor
  • Microfilm
  • Gifted Child
  • Professional Literature
  • Tax Form
  • New Format
The tiny 1 oz. LPA detects these and many other danger words way in advance. When it buzzes just make yourself scarce. Nothing could be easier. Like nature itself. Shown actual size.

Item #212-Logomisia Pocket Alarm-$12.95

Monday, December 08, 2008

Sedimental Journey

Gouger Library Supplies has always been especially proud of our Reference Reprint line. This fine series of books provides so much value for so little cost many of our competitors have given up and started selling those seeds that are advertised on the back of comic books. These books are that good.

We've gone far out on a ledge with our newest offering. For too long there has been a need for a comprehensive and up-to-date resource on this topic. You'll never be left hanging with our 6 volume set of Noted Cliffs. This compendious work has over 250,000 entries on anything and everything to do with Cliffs. Here's just a tiny sampling of the precipice-related topics covered:
  • The White Cliffs of Dover
  • Cliff "Ukulele Ike" Edwards
  • Clifton, NJ
  • Clifford the Big Red Dog
  • Cliff Richard
  • Newport Cliff Walk
  • Cliff Robertson
  • Galloping Cliff Gallup
No need to subscribe to one of those expensive cliff databases. If it's a Cliff and it's been Noted, Gouger guarantees it will be included in this reference work. Well illustrated and bound in handsome Corinthian leather, this is one cliff that won't leave your library hanging.

Item #211-Noted Cliffs-$24.95