There's always a mountain of books waiting to be checked in every day. You can't spare a single worker to the illnesses brought on by putrid-smelling books. You know the type we mean. When the book is opened for checkin a stench wafts out that makes everyone in the library buckle at the knees. These books smell as though the patron spent the entire borrowing period blowing smoke directly into the pages. Or dropped the book into the pot while cooking a rotting cabbage with onions and garlic. Or used the pages to wipe their underarms after a day's work at the slaughterhouse.
Often these books must be discarded or at the very least aired out for several decades. Confronting a whiffy patron is a horribly embarrassing and useless experience that will only end in heartache. So the library loses money and the patrons lose access to another title. Until now.
The team at Gouger Labs under the able direction of Dr. Jason has developed a book-refreshing spray that will make even the most malodorous volume smell sweeter than a field of fresh-picked donuts. The next time you get a literal literary stinker give it a few spritzes of our Library of Pongress Book Renewer. LOP neutralizes even the strongest foul aromas immediately on contact. It's splendiferous!
Order right now. Quantity discounts are available. Please specify scent : Warm Cookies, New Box of Crayons, Fresh Cut Grass, Root Beer, or Play-Dough.
Item #206-Library of Pongress Book Renewer-$19.95 per doz.