Magazine Subscription Cards Are a *&#%$ Nuisance!

Subscription cards. No matter how meticulous you are about pulling them out of the library's magazines, hundreds of them appear all over the building anyway. They somehow multiply at night and, like butterflies, in the morning they fly out of their host periodical. Since you have to pick them up all day anyway, why not transform them into something useful? Presenting Gouger's fantastic new product, the Subscription Card Transmorgrifier. Collect a stack of those pesky cards and insert them into this easy-to-use machine. Give the wheel a spin and in a flash out comes a a neat stack of crisp blank scrap paper. The Transmorgrifier can process approximately 500 cards at once, about a day's supply for the average library. Needs no batteries or electricity, and so lightweight it can go anywhere. Clean up the library and give the place a quaint look with this snazzy imitation-antique device.

Item #013-Subscription Card Transmorgrifier-$139