Calling all circulation staff! Your health is in mortal danger! It seems that patrons just love handing you library cards that came out of their foaming mouths. Eeeeeewwww. Even if the person looks clean and healthy, it's still disgusting. And who knows? They're probably rotting from the inside out.
Invest in a pair of Gouger's antiseptic Slabber Grabber Tongs. This sterile tool will let you pick up and scan a filth-laden card while sending the patron a subtle message. Based on an antique library instrument, Slabber Grabber Tongs date back to the alexia outbreak of the 19th century. The end of each tine contains a germ-killing chemical that is released on contact.
Keep the whole Circ Desk from coming down with kuru. You can never be too careful.
Item #059-Slabber Grabber Tongs-$11.95 each
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