Do you hate tutors? Sure, we all do. We know we shouldn't. They probably help kids learn. But you can't help wincing at the sight of one when they swagger into the library and commandeer a table. Next, everyone gets to overhear Little Brattina's math lesson. When asked to curtail their ongoing conversation, look out! Every librarian has gotten the "I'm An EDUCATOR" attitude of moral outrage. Well, la-de-dah. Imagine mere mortals daring to question an educator.
The staff at Gouger has always wanted to ask why they pick the one place in town where everyone knows you're supposed to be quiet to have their yappy little lessons. That doesn't seem very educated. But there's no need to worry about tutors tooting too loudly anymore!
Librarians around the world have come to depend on Gouger's patented Tutor Shooter. Fire troublesome tutors beyond gravity's reach with this powerful launching hardware. The system's six silos come camouflaged as average library chairs. The included Command Post lets you be mission control. When a lesson's volume goes over the acceptable DeafCon level, just push the big red button. And don't worry holes in the library roof. It leaks anyway.
It's the rocket that's a booster for the whole library! Gouger guarantees our Shooter will neuter any tutor and make them an interstellar commuter. Easy to install. Made of pewter.
Item #078-Tutor Shooter-$2399
1 comment:
Lisa, I would like to order one "Tutor Shooter" just for old-times sake! Why-oh-why wasn't this device invented when I needed it?
How do I make out the check?
Michelle in Buffalo!!!!
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