Do You Want to Put this Dance on Your Visa Card, Sir?

Be a winner in the War Against Cell Phones! Gouger Library Supplies has a hilarious new weapon to vanquish the evil Phone Yapping Moron Patrons (Pymps). Asking a Pymp to take their calls elsewhere only leads to dirty looks and being ignored. Since you have to listen to inane personal conversations, why not join in? Talking loud in a community space obviously means it must be a participatory event.

This fine bit of logic justifies the purchase of a Bucci Phone Fiddler. Developed by the prominent Library Scientist Dr. A. Bucci, the Phone Fiddler lets you join in any cell phone conversation. Just think of the possibilities! Your witty commentary will spice up any conversation your thick-as-a-plank Pymp may be having. Can't think of anything clever to say? Every Phone Fiddler has a treasure trove of hysterical pre-recorded quips and insults. Just push the button and prepare to laugh.

But wait, there's even more! Through the brilliant research of Dr. Bucci, you can chose from hundreds of uproarious background noises to add excitement to any Pymp's important conversation. The Transgendered Strip Club with the Friendly Lap Dancers audio scenario was a great favorite in the testing phase. The easy-to-use Phone Fiddler will change the way libraries approach cell phone users. And it's snazzy lookin', too. Bless you, Dr. Bucci!

Item #149-Bucci Phone Fiddler-$37.95