Monday, February 04, 2008

Liar, Liar! Pants Engulfed in Flames!


Patrons often ask "Where are the Test Books?". That's a damn good question, because they sure aren't anywhere in the library. Taking deposits is more trouble than it's worth. Making them reference renders them useless. If you are tired of all the GEDs and ASVABs going AWOL, Gouger has just the product your library needs.

Invest in a Pants Afire Test Book Polygraph. This phenomenal machine makes Test Book circulation risk-free. The PATBP is ready to use straight out of the box. And it's so easy to operate. Just attach the electrode to the borrower's finger and ask if they intend to return the book on time. Or ever. The results are simple to interpret-no complicated graph paper or vague charts. Your staff will know within seconds if you are dealing with a LSAT LIAR or a PSAT prevaricator.

Never set another test book to missing because of some theiving weasel. Gouger can not be held responsible for any other questions posed to patrons out of staff curiosity, as interesting as those questions may be. Not that we're suggesting anything, but keep us in the loop.

Item #155-Pants Afire Test Book Polygraph-$275

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