The most dreaded time of all has arrived at your library. The Powers-That-Be have decided to change computer systems. This means endless downtime, extremely unhappy patrons, even unhappier staff, and no real difference in computer efficiency. It's true. Everyone has to struggle to learn a different, yet equally crummy, new system. All new mysterious commands, quirks, and hidden glitches. Reports that are still incorrect and unhelpful, but in a fresh and totally different new way. It would be funny if it wasn't so awful.
Well, Gouger can't make sucky system software swell, but we can help take the sting out of dealing with it. The next time a changeover is in the cards, send for an order of Database Downers. This fantastic assortment of tranquilizers is sure to soothe the harried nerves of any library staff. Gouger's resident chemist Dr. Jason (MLS, Phd, WTF) has selected a wonderful potpourri of powerful calming pharmaceuticals. The computers still won't work right, but we guarantee the staff will maintain a professionally placid attitude throughout the transition period. Database Downers. Get 'em. 'Cause you know you're gonna need 'em.
Item #169-Database Downers-$14.95 per 1000
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