You're a busy bibliothecary. Running a library involves a million little details, each one of them important and demanding of your immediate attention. Let Gouger Library Supplies take at least one of those worrisome projects off your sagging shoulders. We're talking censorship, library lads and lasses.
You've been meaning to create a materials complaint form. Honest you have. But the book truck lost a wheel and Timmy the shelver has rabies and that lady with the moustache has made a hat out of the Wall Street Journal again and three of your circulation people ran away with the circus and... you never did get the chance to get to it.
Why reinvent the wheel? Gouger's done all the dirty work for you and created a superb all-purpose Materials Reconsideration Boilerplate Form. All you have to do is buy it, stuff it in a drawer somewhere, and hope you never have to use it. But it's almost inevitable that something in your collection will be challenged someday. Not to worry. You'll have this official-looking form ready and waiting for your local Comstock. Just whip it out. Here's what you get:
Your Library Name Here
Materials Reconsideration Request
This (book, film, compact disc, employee) should be (removed forever, burned, hidden from all humanity, restricted to children) because it contains (smut, cursing, religious views other than my own, uncomfortable truths, uncomfortable lies, witchcraft in the guise of a harmless children's story, a predictable plot and poor character development, biases that are not my own, historical accuracies, it's just plain filth).
I believe I can choose what others can read because I am (a religious busybody, a secular busybody, a librarian, perfect in every way, spoiling for a fight). If the library does not deal with this material in a manner according to my wishes I will (call the mayor, call my pastor, call the newspaper, be the first member of the public to ever attend a library board meeting, call the mayor again, call no one but self righteously lecture the library director for at least 30 minutes).
I (have, have not) read or viewed the material I am (grousing, grandstanding, bellowing, sermonizing, earnestly trying to establish a dialogue) about.
Name:
Phone Number:
Alleged Friend in City Government:
Our boilerplate is easy to read and simple to complete. Buy a box of of these forms and be a prepared professional person. We'll even put your library's logo on at no extra charge.
Item #207-Materials Reconsideration Boilerplate Form-$9.95 per 100
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