One Fine Day

Many library workers are tired of living a lie. These troubled people have written to us at Gouger Library Supplies to unburden themselves. We listen to your needs. We care. Then we exploit.

All day, every day, circulation workers perpetuate a cycle of deceit and it sickens them. It's known as The Checkout Transaction. Whenever they stamp the due date in a patron's book, both parties know it's a mark of deceit. The borrower isn't going to return the book until they're damn good and ready. Some folks will return the book tomorrow. Other people will never return it. And no amount of calls, notices, or emails is going to make a bit of difference.

If your staff is tired of performing this meaningless charade a couple of thousand times a day, invest in Gouger's newest product. Give in and give up with our swell Due As You Will Date Stamper. These sturdy date stamps will mark your books with more realistic return periods. Each stamp can be set for the following:

• Eventually
• End of the Semester
• Whenever
  
• Amnesty Week
• A Month of Sundays
• Someday, Someway

There's no sense in getting angry. That's not going to get the library's books back one second sooner. Accept the situation and hope for the best. You'll be less stressed and live longer that way. And Gouger will make more money. Order when you get around to it. We'll be here.

Item #210-Due As You Will Date Stamper-$24.95