Monday, April 30, 2007

It's Mr. Blizzard's World!


Getting the parking lot plowed has always been a headache for library administrators. Your facility is probably the town's lowest priority in stormy weather. Lower than the street where the town manager's election opponent lives. Before you get in a fruitless debate with another municipal worker, consider Gouger for your snow removal needs.

We've developed a product that's both convenient and fun. Your staff will show up early and fight over who gets to use the Dewey Decimator Snowblower. This user friendly incendiary device will have your parking lot and sidewalks safe and dry in a flash. Literally.

The DDS is simple to operate. No lighters or messy accelerants. Simply point and squeeze the trigger. This fine device is fueled by a combination of confiscated soda and that smelly book glue that the shelvers like to huff.

Gouger can not be held responsible for any hilarious disasters that may occur through careless use of this product. Our staff would love to see the pictures, though.

Item #054-Dewey Decimator Snowblower-$74.95

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