Amazing Breakthrough in the Library Sciences!

As librarians ourselves, we here at Gouger know how much librarians strive to serve all of the community. All true professionals will therefore be thrilled to know that our Research Team has uncovered a previously undefined demographic class. We are proud to announce the discovery of the Old Adult User Group.

It is our hope that this breakthrough will open an entire new field in the Library Sciences. Every library will someday have an Old Adult section with Old Adult genre literature staffed by the OA Librarian. Think of the possibilities to serve this neglected and overlooked population. Here at Gouger we certainly have been. It is our corporate mission to make boatloads of money off of this.

Until Library Schools start churning out OA Specialists, we encourage you to invest in our Old Farter Starter Kit. The materials in this fine kit will help any size library get started in providing quality Old Adult Services. The kit centers on the manual which describes the many different materials that make up a proper Old Adult Collection.

• Novels with no sex, violence, or cursing
• World War II histories
• Anything published by Prevention, Reader's Digest, or Yankee Magazines
• DVDs of "classic" films and TV shows
• Reference books on pills and the ingestion thereof

Yes, you'll be ready to be an infotainment innovator with this fine kit. But wait, there's more! This user group provides some unique challenges. To help your staff better help the Old Adult, Gouger's got the supplies.

• Hearing Aid High Pitched Whine Blocker
• Signs With Really Large Print
• List of Talking Points
  
• "Why Life Was Better Back Then"
• "What IS This Internet Thing, Anyway?"
• "Your Homely Grandchild is a Wonder"
• "Do You Know Who Died This Week?"

Wake up the fossils in your town and fill your library with the bellowing conversation of Old Adults. Maybe if they really like the library, they'll leave you a little something. Wink, Wink.

Item #105-Old Farter Starter Kit-$34.95