Saturday, September 29, 2007

Gouger's Got Your Mojo


Evil supernatural forces have begun to invade public libraries everywhere! Authors known to have died years ago eerily continue to publish from beyond the grave! This unholy situation needs your professional attention before these spawns of Hell overcome fiction collections with their literary carrion.

Ward off the literary undead with Gouger's Ghost Writer Gris-Gris Grab Bag. This sack of powerful magic amulets will keep even the most persistent author in the grave and decomposing. Robert Ludlum just penned a best seller despite having perished in 2001. The books of V.C. Andrews appear regularly from the great beyond. Protect your library from the resurrection of these infernal bebeloglyphics!

Each velvet grab bag contains the necessary amulets and charms to exorcise all known types of unnaturally immortal authors:
  • Crucifix made of two of those useless bamboo newspaper rods
  • Old card catalog rod stakes for driving into blackened hearts of the undead
  • 220's brand Holy Water (1 gallon)
  • Torches and pitchforks for distribution to angry village readers
  • Incantations to repel zombie writers (Sample : Chant "Our Souls Read Novels" three times fast)
Keep the Undead unread with this quality Bag of Lucky Charms. They're magically fictitious.

Item #107-Ghost Writer Gris-Gris Grab Bag-$46.95

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