The etymology of the word "underfunded" reveals its deep roots in the Library Sciences. Unda is the ancient Farsi word for "get bent" and fyndead is Olde Welsh for "library budget". As you can see, the relationship between poverty and libraries is an ancient one. And it's not one that's going to change any time soon, sister, You need every penny you can get your book-buying mitts on and Gouger is here to help.
Chuck out your library's crappy old chairs and replace them with Gouger's plush Pickpocket Peculator Armchair. These super-comfy chairs just beckon patrons to sit down and relax a while. That's when Gouger's secret weapon comes into play. P.P. chairs are designed at a subtle angle that quietly tips the contents of the user's pockets right into a secret compartment. A well-hidden tray underneath captures all the treasure. After closing, simply remove the tray and ta-dah! Funds galore. Make up a story. You got a grant.
These luxurious chairs will pay for themselves in less than 6 months. Another fine product with the famous Gouger guarantee. Please specify color.
Item #143-Pickpocket Peculator Armchair-$149 per pair
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