Attention Children's Librarians! Does your horrid singing voice make you the laughing stock of story hour? Do even the toddlers think you suck? Many otherwise fine librarians royally embarrass themselves at every program. If you dread belting out another off-key rendition of "Old MacDonald", Gouger has got just the remedy for your "B-I-N-G-O" Blues.
Stop hogging the good tambourine to drown out your toilet-toned tremolo. Invest in a Gouger Baa Baa Bad Voice Vocal Enhancer. The BBBVVE looks and works like a regular microphone. In reality, it's an amazing technological breakthrough that transforms your pathetic warbling into sweet, sweet music. Go from flat to fantastic instantly! Don't want a full-sized microphone? Keep your hands free to strum a guitar badly or manipulate scary puppets with the lighweight BBBVVE headset.
Purchase both and receive a free Gouger KidTaztic KidTazer. Spare your ego and spare your patron's ears. Order today, because the Wheels on the Bus will be Comin' Round the Mountain. And they'll be gunning for You.
Item #183-Baa Baa Bad Voice Vocal Enhancer-$99.95 each
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