Gouger is beyond proud to celebrate the release of our 100th product. Our competition is seething with ill-concealed jealousy. As well they should. They're a bunch of con artists who sell boring overpriced crap. The Gouger name stands for quality professional merchandise. Humor-filled items librarians need and want.
To mark this historic event, we are releasing the most stupendous Reference Reprint to date. Students the world over will applaud the comeback of Professor Ari Starch's literary criticism series Why This Book Sucked. This is REAL criticism, not the scholarly analysis other "critical" books offer. The author spares no book from his wrath. Starch took the position that any book one has to be forced to read must suck. Students will love citing the insults and curses in their reports.
WTBS criticizes all the "classics" students rightfully hate. Each lengthy essay uses plain language to expound on the suckiness of a book. And boy, do these books suck:
- Hamlet - "What the hell is going on? I can't understand a thing anyone says. Thee, thou, thine. Speak English, you bastards!"
- The Scarlet Letter - "Manages to make adultery with the clergy a dull read. "
- Animal Farm - "At least this is short. It still sucks though. Sucks bad."
- Moby Dick - "What a disappointment. The title is very misleading."
- Silas Marner - I'd rather have my teeth pulled out than read this book. Pulled out through my ass."
- War and Peace - "This book is so long I hated it before I even read a page. Vile and tedious with unpronounceable Commie names."
Item #100-Why This Book Sucked-$1499 for 100 volumes